> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.kalil.co/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Why I fundraise for Movember - URL: https://www.kalil.co/writing/why-i-fundraise-for-movember/ - Published: 2026-11-13T16:51:41.000Z - Updated: 2026-11-13T16:51:41.000Z - Author: Kalil Magtoto On November 1, 2019, I posted a photo of my freshly shaved face on Facebook. “WHERE HAS THE BEARD GONE?!” I wrote. Underneath was a link asking people to donate to Movember. I don't remember exactly why I started. I remember finding the website and the messaging resonating with me. The explanation I can give you now has taken shape over years. I hadn't worked it all out when I first shaved. I was already fundraising before a winter night when I seriously considered ending my life. That night is part of why this cause matters to me, but it isn't the beginning of my involvement. I wanted people I could turn to, but I struggled to name that need or believe anyone would be there. ## The kind of friendship I wanted I moved to Canada on my own for university as a teenager. I was excited and gung ho. I liked the challenge of starting somewhere new, meeting people and figuring things out. I didn't understand how difficult it would be to have my family halfway across the world. I remember talking to my friend Ahrar while he was driving us to get food. I got deep into how much I wanted to have bros, male friends I could connect with emotionally. I found it easier to connect that way with women. With guys, I was struggling. Ahrar was one of my first friends in Canada who felt like an older brother. Our friendship was deeper than many of the others I had. I could have that conversation with him, and I wanted more relationships where I could be that open. On the [Athletics Ontario Running Podcast](https://athleticsontariorunning.libsyn.com/ep-146-kalil-magtoto-on-running-as-a-connection-to-mens-mental-health-in-movember?ref=kalil.co), I described wanting someone I could talk to and rely on. I also wanted to listen and give back. Looking back, I think several things were weighing on me: school being tough, my ambition, working a job, and hurt from a bad breakup with my first serious partner. I can't neatly separate what each contributed. The clearest way I can describe it now is overwhelm. I had hurt and yearning I didn't know how to hold, process or put into words. I didn't know what to do with all that energy. I had good grades and professors who liked me. I could be doing well and still feel lost. Then I would question whether I had any right to feel that way. The things I had going for me became reasons to doubt my distress, even though they didn't explain why I felt lost. In 2020, I wrote [“We are students, not machines”](https://archive.uwimprint.ca/article/we-are-students-not-machines/?ref=kalil.co) for my university newspaper. I argued for space to rest, fail and learn without making academic performance the measure of a person's worth. ## Having people around and being able to reach them My memory of that winter night is incomplete. I remember walking home from school. I now think it was January 2020, shortly after I returned to Canada from my annual trip to the Philippines. I don't remember the exact date. I had friends. But my brain wouldn't let me believe anyone would be there for me. I was so unwell that I had convinced myself I was alone in the world. I locked my bedroom door and stared at my phone. I was thinking about ending my life. I kept going back and forth, wondering whether continuing to live would be worth it if nobody came through that door and told me they were there for me. What I wanted was for someone to come in and tell me not to do it. To tell me I mattered. My family was far away, and nobody at home knew what I was feeling behind that closed door. I ended up calling a suicide hotline. The advice felt generic to me, but it was enough for that moment. Afterwards, I needed support that could help me understand what was happening to me. I went to church, sought therapy and was referred to a psychiatrist. I did ten weeks of cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behaviour therapy: CBT and DBT. Therapy gave me ways to think about my thoughts. As I described it years later, I could begin to recognise that a feeling was something I was experiencing, rather than the whole of who I was. I could make sense of the sadness, anger and frustration and work through them, instead of keeping everything inside with no way to process it. I needed people I could trust, and I needed help understanding what I was feeling. I could talk to Ahrar about wanting close friends while still struggling to understand my hurt and yearning. Having people around hadn't stopped me from feeling desperately alone. ## Giving people a way to join One of my memories of finding Movember is a booth at the University of Waterloo. I've forgotten the name of the man there. He had a great moustache. They were doing some kind of dollar-for-a-donut fundraiser, and we got talking. In the podcast, I remembered how much his words resonated with me and how I started looking into Movember's material afterwards. My own invitations have involved running, making videos, growing a moustache and persuading people to do slightly ridiculous things with me. ![A group gathers for a nighttime selfie with a banner and city lights behind them.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/6b/f1/6bf166c0-7cc4-4bee-a401-e54c30b4874b/content/images/2026/11/image-2758905d1080d796.jpg) At the finish of Run to Montreal in November 2026\. [Original post](https://www.instagram.com/p/DfcAPAXoOrn/?ref=kalil.co) In [2022, my Movember plan](https://www.instagram.com/p/CkWhkuFPVDE/?ref=kalil.co) was to run 200 kilometres and raise $1,000\. I invited people to join my Sunday long runs in person or virtually. They could send me their progress or start a fundraising page of their own. Whatever our goals were, we could keep each other accountable. Come for a run. Keep me posted. We could follow each other's progress, and someone could join the fundraising without having to take on my running goal. In 2024, I was part of a crew taking on Run to Montreal. Ten of us covered the 650 kilometres from Toronto to Montreal in just over 53 hours. In my [post afterwards](https://www.instagram.com/p/DCNzQcOsWxl/?ref=kalil.co), I wrote about asking the crew to join the mission of preventing men from dying too young. They didn't hesitate. I ran about 40 kilometres. Other guys on the team ran between 60 and 80, taking on extra kilometres for me. When I went on the podcast afterwards, I thanked them for carrying that extra load. I wanted to share how we treated each other while we were doing it. In the podcast, I talked about men doing hard things together, respecting one another, making jokes and having fun while knowing each other's limits and boundaries. I was taking mental notes during the run because I wanted more people to see that kind of friendship. Making videos was a way to show what I meant. ## We can have fun with something serious This year, someone jokingly sent me the idea for a Spicy Mile. I immediately wanted to do it. Four running laps, with spicy wings involved. I suck with spicy food; even sriracha has some kick for me. I'm no sprinter, either, so combining the two sounded like a terrible yet fun idea. It hurt. A lot. People came out and helped turn the joke into an actual fundraiser. [The photos](https://www.instagram.com/p/DfOLx3xjRgK/?ref=kalil.co) are evidence of how that went. ![People in Movember shirts gather around an outdoor table of food and hot sauces beside a Lost in the Sauce banner.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/6b/f1/6bf166c0-7cc4-4bee-a401-e54c30b4874b/content/images/2026/11/image-4e9105df087b7bc0.jpg) The Spicy Mile, November 2026\. Photo: [@heymikeelay](https://www.instagram.com/heymikeelay/?ref=kalil.co) My plan for this Movember was to have as much fun as possible. I've found people I love doing this with through the Sober Striders and Wabi Sabi Run to Montreal team, and through the Little Dippers who bring people together for the Polar Dip. I want more of my community to be part of it. In my [Why I Mo post this November](https://www.instagram.com/p/DfM8ZL6oFBU/?ref=kalil.co), I said I was celebrating life. Laughing together and doing ridiculous things are part of the life I get to share with these people while raising money for a serious cause. My poor tolerance for spicy food hasn't stopped me from organising a fundraiser around it. ## What I'm asking people to support After a recent donation, I [recorded a thank-you](https://www.instagram.com/p/DfjBaR2t4ib/?ref=kalil.co). I said I didn't think of myself as an inspirational person. I'm a dude who likes to run and make content. I was moved by people putting their own hard-earned money towards a cause I support because they believed in me. Movember funds work in mental health and suicide prevention, alongside prostate and testicular cancer. Mental health and suicide prevention are why this cause matters personally to me. Movember Canada [reported spending CAD $10.9 million](https://movember.com/uploads/files/2025/Movember%20Canada%20Impact%20Report%202025.pdf?ref=kalil.co) on that work in the year ending April 30, 2025\. Our fundraising contributes to support that reaches beyond the people who come to our events. If you're able to [donate to my Movember fundraiser](https://movember.com/m/kalilmagtoto?ref=kalil.co), I'd be grateful. I'd also love you to join us, bring a friend or make some time for someone you care about.